I felt like an update was compulsory

So, I have had a really shitty time recently and I have been focusing all my energy on being positive and setting out to live the best way that I could. A lot of things rattled me a bit, personal things – involving family, but what was most irritating was that every time something bad happened… something worse was right around the corner. If you have been with me on twitter – you will know of some¬†different things but I will spare you the details of whats going on, I tend to be moderately private!

This will just be text based, I’m sorry! I will upload loads of beautiful photos I have been taking recently to kind of enlighten you of the good things that I have going on.

I gained quite a lot of popularity through my OOTD, I am no longer doing it daily (as you may have noticed) I’ll do it on a good day to spare you the boring ‘I’m having a bad day’ photos!

My laptop is so close to going to the laptop graveyard and that makes me sad and I can’t afford a new one yet because of the student life.. and unfortunately I am not one of those lucky white girls with a rich daddy *sobs hysterically*. My laptop takes literally 3 hours to export a video, a video which is HD but only 7 minutes long.. nightmare! My keyboard started failing so onscreen keyboard was basically my thing for a very long time… but TODAY is the magical day where infact I decided to grab some batteries and use my old wireless keyboard,. It’s like finger porn honestly. It feels so good to use.

I promise I will try and use this more frequently and I will be using it to document my life and show you all the beautiful things in it – NO NEGATIVITY ZONE! This can be my escape!
I’ve been using YouTube to get out my comfort zone a bit so if you wanna check me out on a more regular basis then I will be right there!

Thank you to everyone for the support and love when recently I have been slacking so much!


My anniversary.. And how to stay in love.

My relationship had always been personal and private, it’s so exclusive. We only share memories with the people we truly love – it’s never been about bragging and putting it in people’s faces because to us, being happy together is the most significant thing. I love sharing to people if I feel I can really help those around me, but my relationship just wasn’t ever one of those things. I’m not that girl who uses the relationship for attention – it’s just so special that I don’t need anyone to know the details.
I won’t be writing a big piece for the benefit of my Facebook and twitter saying ‘OMG I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HES BETTER THAN YOURS WERE STILL SO IN LOVE HERES SOME PHOTOS OF US BEING CUTE’ dropping that bullshit just so I get people I don’t even care about to like it. I’m not that girl.
However, a lot of people didn’t even know about my relationship. So I’m ‘coming out’ with it a little more and sharing only what I feel I need to share. I am sharing what is worth while sharing so I can help you and teach you a few things that I’ve learned.

DISCLAIMER: this is MY relationship, MY experiences, MY opinions. They are not right or wrong, and I am not a critic of anybody.

We’ve been together a year today, and I know it’s not long. But it’s different to the relationships I have had (4.5 years worth!) before. Length of time is nothing, because how happy you are – that’s exactly what’s right.
It’s special because we were both adults when we got together, so we made a decision to be together maturely. Before, I dated a person in high school, and several years passed because I thought how long my relationship was – meant I had the strongest relationship out of everyone.
That doesn’t work.
My parents were together 16 years before they divorced and everyone could see the cracks, everyone knew they weren’t compatible.
So lesson one: don’t be scared to let go of what isn’t right for you.

Being in a relationship is comfortable and people go into baby mode. The ‘I love you so much I want to have your babies and marry you’. They are blindsided by this, they think – if they stay together for ages, they’re closer to that dream and THEN they will be happy.
One of my problems were that I’d hang on to a dead relationship with the only thing I loved in it – being the prospect of the other person becoming someone new and us having different circumstances in the Future. I’d think ‘We’ll have a beautiful house, 2 kids, I’ll be a designer and he’ll be a teacher’. Don’t waste your time you guys, if that’s all you’re clinging on to – move on. Also if there are more negatives than positives, move on. It’s okay to move on.

Also be self sufficient – don’t be scared of being alone, if you’re not happy then just leave because that’s the best thing you can ever do to show that you are freeing yourself for the happiness you deserve. You can rely on someone but still be independent, don’t be lost without someone. Appreciate that you can make it alone!

When you’re with someone and it’s private, it feels so much better. You take other people out of the equation and you feel love stronger than you ever could because you don’t seek validation. It’s wonderful. It’s like the point why I’m against weddings people can’t afford, celebrating love is beautiful but making an absolute show out of a day that is supposed to just be about getting married – that’s sugar coating, and regardless of how much icing you put on a cake – if it’s a bad cake, you don’t wanna eat it.

To be more personal… I’m in love. And that’s all people need to know. We’re adults, we’re simple, we bring out the best in each other – we’re also each other’s only sexual partners. We share these intricate moments together with the only aim of enjoying each other, we have never been a show. We record memories in our own private way. And our silence only ever demonstrates how strong that we actually are. We’re not a matching bracelet, matching t shirt, matching tattoo couple. Oh and we don’t take photos with the idea of a new ‘Facebook profile picture’ since that’s apparently the biggest thing for a relationship nowadays (so crazy).

I’ll share just this picture, capturing moments of enjoyment – not posing for others, just being ourselves.
I hope you all find the love that you need, it’s out there somewhere.

I’m not telling you how to love or being a critic of anyone, I’m just saying my opinion from all my experiences – try freeing yourself! It makes everything so much better and I know that from experience. Don’t worry about other people or putting on a show because if you’re happy that’s all that ever counts. Remember to record memories in a photo album or a diary because one day when you’re old – you might wanna share what your relationship has been like, and you won’t wanna be scrolling through a Facebook to your grandchildren!

Which celebrity couples last the longest, ones who publicity hunt for it? Or the ones who are private?

Love freely without the obstruction of others.



DAY 23

This is my ‘no haters, I’m the referee’ outfit

Today I have dealt with a lot – remember my infamous bully? Well it crawled right back out of the darkness again. Basically jealous because I thanked my twitter because I got over 100 favourites on a selfie – which was more than her post. So stupid, like its stressing me out being abused for something so DUMB.
She was saying how she has a huge following on this ‘other’ site and how everyone likes her stuff, like properly trying to compete because I am mildly popular. Oh and I aint pulling the accusation from nowhere – someone on her friends list sent me a screen shot, and there was a nasty comment below clarifying it was for my benefit – even though the comment got deleted. (Why say it then?)

Okay here goes – I will never brag. I get a lot of blog traffic, and I have a following of 30,000. I can make a lot of money off my social media because of traffic and affiliates.

I will always always always be humble and thankful for what I have, I have what I have because I put the effort in. I am a massive people’s person, I don’t have fans – I have internet friends. It is nothing to be jealous of, I spent like 3 whole years building this up so I worked for it.

Also, I have a lot of friends – who I don’t brag about, they are my true friends – which isn’t just facebook friends because quite frankly the dude I sat next to in French class isn’t a friend. Hence, why I deleted my former facebook – I maintain only my real friends on facebook who constantly talk to me on it so just over 100.
If you have like 1000 friends, chances are it’s just a following. It aint friends. It’s companies, people who added you to be nosey and randoms from high school.

Why I was so humbled by twitter favourites is because I don’t think I deserve it – I’m shocked by kindness. I said its harder to get a favourite than a like and its harder to get a follow than a friend request acceptance. I stand by that.
If I posted something on facebook – people just like it because it sits on newsfeed and they say ‘Eh, what the hell I’ll just write something’. That’s why I only have friends on facebook, because before there were just hundreds of ‘what the hell’ people out there on my list.

I don’t seek admiration – I love true friendship so I don’t accept friend requests from silly people, and I delete those I don’t talk to!

I am just saying – I am so privileged to have the support I have, I’ve come to understand I am ‘popular’ on social media – but that’s because I’m selfless and I give back, it isn’t a competition.
At the end of the day, how many people actually pull through for you as a friend? Not someone who just favourites you tweets or likes your facebook posts – but how many people run out to support you like mad? How many text just to make sure you’re okay? How many strive to maintain relationships with you by inviting you to hang out?
That’s truly what matters

So I’d like to thank my close friends for being there for me, I’m the girl with like 10 best friends and I appreciate you and all my other close ones so so so so so much.

Sorry for giving my OOTD a massive teaching, just want you to know how respectful I am and always will be. It’s not a popularity contest! It’s just sharing beautifully!

This is my black and white ‘referee dress’ heheheh with black slip on shoes!


DAY 21

This is my ‘Today I was super sick and so I just lounged around in this baggy floral dress’ look.

I have quite poor health with lets just call it a ‘persistent issue’, it’s really worrying but it’s nothing I’d want to seek attention for – there are good and bad days, but on a plus I’m daily in chronic pain thus making me one of the tougher women! (If I ever had to give birth it’d be a walk in the park because of what I have).
I know one day I’ll be clear of it and I’ll have life back! But until then I’ll soldier on and not whine about it!

I still managed my work out – and so I just sorted a lot of things out in the house and dealt with my burgeoning list of internet affairs, so the easy peasy loungy dress was suitable!

Grey floral dress (UK size 18 on my 6-8 frame, LOL) from New Look!


DAY 19

This is my ‘just swanning about doing business after a workout’ look.
I don’t know if you can tell but all this outdoors stuff (and decent sunlotion!) is making me a little sunkissed, for me anyways! No complaints here! Usually I burn to a crisp but the sun is glowing and I’m looking healthy and happy!

Dress is so old I honestly don’t know where it is from (as usual I am helpful) with my bambi bag which is for sale!