My relationship had always been personal and private, it’s so exclusive. We only share memories with the people we truly love – it’s never been about bragging and putting it in people’s faces because to us, being happy together is the most significant thing. I love sharing to people if I feel I can really help those around me, but my relationship just wasn’t ever one of those things. I’m not that girl who uses the relationship for attention – it’s just so special that I don’t need anyone to know the details.
I won’t be writing a big piece for the benefit of my Facebook and twitter saying ‘OMG I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HES BETTER THAN YOURS WERE STILL SO IN LOVE HERES SOME PHOTOS OF US BEING CUTE’ dropping that bullshit just so I get people I don’t even care about to like it. I’m not that girl.
However, a lot of people didn’t even know about my relationship. So I’m ‘coming out’ with it a little more and sharing only what I feel I need to share. I am sharing what is worth while sharing so I can help you and teach you a few things that I’ve learned.
DISCLAIMER: this is MY relationship, MY experiences, MY opinions. They are not right or wrong, and I am not a critic of anybody.
We’ve been together a year today, and I know it’s not long. But it’s different to the relationships I have had (4.5 years worth!) before. Length of time is nothing, because how happy you are – that’s exactly what’s right.
It’s special because we were both adults when we got together, so we made a decision to be together maturely. Before, I dated a person in high school, and several years passed because I thought how long my relationship was – meant I had the strongest relationship out of everyone.
That doesn’t work.
My parents were together 16 years before they divorced and everyone could see the cracks, everyone knew they weren’t compatible.
So lesson one: don’t be scared to let go of what isn’t right for you.
Being in a relationship is comfortable and people go into baby mode. The ‘I love you so much I want to have your babies and marry you’. They are blindsided by this, they think – if they stay together for ages, they’re closer to that dream and THEN they will be happy.
One of my problems were that I’d hang on to a dead relationship with the only thing I loved in it – being the prospect of the other person becoming someone new and us having different circumstances in the Future. I’d think ‘We’ll have a beautiful house, 2 kids, I’ll be a designer and he’ll be a teacher’. Don’t waste your time you guys, if that’s all you’re clinging on to – move on. Also if there are more negatives than positives, move on. It’s okay to move on.
Also be self sufficient – don’t be scared of being alone, if you’re not happy then just leave because that’s the best thing you can ever do to show that you are freeing yourself for the happiness you deserve. You can rely on someone but still be independent, don’t be lost without someone. Appreciate that you can make it alone!
When you’re with someone and it’s private, it feels so much better. You take other people out of the equation and you feel love stronger than you ever could because you don’t seek validation. It’s wonderful. It’s like the point why I’m against weddings people can’t afford, celebrating love is beautiful but making an absolute show out of a day that is supposed to just be about getting married – that’s sugar coating, and regardless of how much icing you put on a cake – if it’s a bad cake, you don’t wanna eat it.
To be more personal… I’m in love. And that’s all people need to know. We’re adults, we’re simple, we bring out the best in each other – we’re also each other’s only sexual partners. We share these intricate moments together with the only aim of enjoying each other, we have never been a show. We record memories in our own private way. And our silence only ever demonstrates how strong that we actually are. We’re not a matching bracelet, matching t shirt, matching tattoo couple. Oh and we don’t take photos with the idea of a new ‘Facebook profile picture’ since that’s apparently the biggest thing for a relationship nowadays (so crazy).
I’ll share just this picture, capturing moments of enjoyment – not posing for others, just being ourselves.
I hope you all find the love that you need, it’s out there somewhere.
I’m not telling you how to love or being a critic of anyone, I’m just saying my opinion from all my experiences – try freeing yourself! It makes everything so much better and I know that from experience. Don’t worry about other people or putting on a show because if you’re happy that’s all that ever counts. Remember to record memories in a photo album or a diary because one day when you’re old – you might wanna share what your relationship has been like, and you won’t wanna be scrolling through a Facebook to your grandchildren!
Which celebrity couples last the longest, ones who publicity hunt for it? Or the ones who are private?
Love freely without the obstruction of others.